What You Don’t Know About Your Own Decisions

I think many people understand when I start out like this. Some of these questions…. I don’t have the answer to them necessarily. I’m over here asking them as well.

Things like…

Why it this happening?

Why do things keep taking place?

And like I said, I don’t necessarily have an answer, but I do have perception maybe… a little bit at least.

There was this one service that I attended years and years ago…

A pastor once walked out on stage with a long rope… swirled and piled to the side.

He picked up the end of it and held up a tiny end and said… that is your time here on Earth.

And then he gestured at everything else.

That is what is yet to come.

And when you think about it that way… you come to realize that we’re essentially toddlers in the scope of eternity. When I finally let that be true… this questions above stopped crushing me and started making sense.

Understanding Why Things Keep Repeating

The Goldfish Crackers

Picture yourself as a toddler… minding your own business… feeling hungry… snackish… only goldfish crackers will quench the hunger.

Mom says no to the crackers.

Do we know why? No.

We have zero idea why.

We just know we did not get Goldfish and that is a bad thing that just happened to us. Now we could totally lose it. We could start brooding. We could just start screaming because we cannot possibly tell our parent what this has done to us. Or we could wait till she turns around and try to take the crackers for ourselves.

But there’s another side to this… mom’s side.

Mom knows that dinner is almost ready. Our absolute favorite dinner. The one we are going to want to scarf down every single bite of. And goldfish crackers right now are going to ruin the whole thing because we’re going to want what’s coming. She hasn’t told us what’s coming. She’s protecting us from eating something that is only subpar when something we really want is heading our way. She is protecting us from impending doom… and we have absolutely no idea.

Is any of that in our possible perception? Maybe.

Maybe we saw ingredients. Maybe we smell things. Maybe it looks like something might be near.

But the truth is… unless she tells us…

We just know we did not get the Goldfish.

The Toy at Target

It’s just you and dad. You guys are on your own. You are walking through the store and you have no idea why you’re there except for the one thing he told you about.

And everything stops when you get to this one aisle…

The toy aisle.

There is one toy there that you want. You want it so bad. And dad says no.

You throw yourself down on the floor. You’re kicking and screaming. Making a full scene. Maybe if you do it enough, dad will just buy you the toy.

But because he says no… that’s just it. This is the end of the world. Everything is ruined. Nothing will ever be okay again.

So what don’t we know? Why would dad not buy us this toy?

Maybe it was budgeting.

Maybe we already have nine of them at home and he is trying to teach us something about reliance and stewardship and the fact that we genuinely do not need a tenth.

Maybe he sees something in us that needs to grow and this is the moment.

But in a toddler’s eyes?

End of the world. Every single time.

The Pattern You’re Stuck In

Now, what if you’re just that toddler who keeps asking for that toy.

Who keeps asking for those goldfish.

You’re not learning that there’s something else there.

You’re stuck.

You’re asking why like the toddler asking why mom won’t buy the toy.

And the answer… the reason… is happening in a part of the story you don’t have access to yet.

Maybe it’s protection. Your body knows what it needs before your mind catches up.

Maybe it’s a lesson that hasn’t landed yet. You’re still learning what needs to be learned.

Maybe there’s provision coming that requires you to be in exactly this position right now.

Maybe God is stirring you up… getting you ready for something… and the discomfort you’re feeling isn’t punishment. It’s preparation.

But you can’t see that from the thick of it.

This is why it just comes to the point that we simply cannot sit there and depend on the truth being in our own emotions. They don’t always deliver truth.

What Happens When You’re in the Emotions

But it’s not just that… feelings are LOUD.

You’re stressed and your nervous system is screaming.

You’re anxious and your body is fighting for control.

You’re grieving and nothing makes sense.

You’re exhausted and just making it through the day is all you can manage.

And in that noise… in that thick emotional soup… you cannot see the bigger picture.

You cannot see the dinner being prepared.

You cannot see why dad said no.

You cannot see what God is doing.

…the only thing that makes sense is to feel your feelings and react to them.

“I feel like a failure so I must be a failure.”

“I feel like I can’t do this so I should stop trying.”

“I feel like giving up is the only option so I’ll give up.”

You’re listening to your emotions like they’re the truth.

And your emotions are throwing a toddler fit because they can’t see what’s actually happening.

We need to know what dad sees. We need to know what Mom knows.

We need to ask God for what we need in that moment.

We need to submit to THE truth.

Ask for perception and discernment.

Why You Need to Submit Instead of React

God knows everything.

He knows what you need before you ask.

He already sees the dinner.

He already knows why he said no.

He already understands what needs to happen.

But if you’re in the moment… if you’re in the thick of the emotions… and you keep reacting to your feelings instead of submitting to Him… then you’re like the toddler.

If you’re making decisions based on what YOU alone can see… you’ll keep repeating the same pattern because you’re still trying to solve a problem on your own.

The next time you’re in the thick of it… when the emotions are loud and the choice is right in front of you… stop.

Before you react.

Before you do what your feelings are telling you to do… pause and pray.

Submit it to the Lord.

Ask Him what He’s doing.

Ask Him what you need.

Ask Him to give you peace.

Ask Him to give you provision.

Ask Him to stir you up if you need stirring up.

He’s with you. He’s waiting. Go to Him and He will provide everything you need. But it’s what He sees you need. Not what you believe you need.