Always On My Mind Podcast: The All-or-Nothing Reframe
I had a plan for this one.
And then I overheard something and the internal mind rant started before I even hit record.
One of the biggest gripes I have in coaching is when somebody walks in and introduces herself as all-or-nothing … with no context … like it is a character flaw that needs to be fixed.
Nicole Doria MS CPT
So here we Go…
All or nothing… about what?
Because me too. And really I hope some others are as well… about somethings at least.
I want my surgeon to be all or nothing… or my dentist to have been all or nothing… in every skill lab, crash studying, doing everything possible to learn, and still standing on top of it now. Give me the all or nothing people. I want all of them.
I don’t want somebody who halfheartedly learned their passion because they were trying to keep balance when things are at stake. I want the people that dove so far in… it is who they are. Because there’s a difference.
There is nothing wrong with all or nothing.
What there is a problem with is the application of it.
The adoption of it… the “all-or-nothing” label… as an entire identity with no context around it.
Because when you let all or nothing become the same thing as I am lazy, I am a failure, I cannot follow through … that is where it starts to cost you something real.
We speak life or death with the tongue. What we say about ourselves matters.
I kicked butt being all or nothing in my own health journey. I went all in. I made the friends, built the community, did the work. I knew if I was going to change what upset me the most… it was going to take changing all of it. I needed my passion and my follow through to just jump! Full leap of faith!
BUT I was not all or nothing about everything. I was all or nothing about the goal. I was flexible about the how. Do you see what I’m saying? It’s how we apply that matters.
That is the whole difference.
And that is really what this episode is about.
How do we be all or nothing about something… but not put ourselves in the box that everything has to follow that with pursuit to make it impossible. We have to have our passion survive the worst of days… so how?
A strategy that only works on the easy days is not really a strategy.
Life is always going to keep coming. Sun shower days and torrential downpour days both. So how do you build something that actually holds either way?
That is where Good, Better & Best comes in. Not as a way to water yourself down. As a way to give your drive a range that fits the terrain you are standing in right now.
The all or nothing lives at the goal. I am going to lose 135 pounds. I am not stopping until I do. That is where you plant your flag and you stand on it.
The Good, Better & Best lives in the getting there. Because the getting there is where life keeps happening and you need room to keep going anyway.
Come listen.
And if you have ever walked into a room and introduced yourself as all or nothing like it was something to fix … this one is for you. ♥️
With love, Coach Nik
SHOW NOTES LINKS
- Good Better Best: A Way Through for the Recovering Perfectionist
- All Or Nothing Mentality with Eating
