Always On My Mind Podcast: Transitions… Building a New Normal

I thought this might be the most appropriate thing I could do right now with back-to-school starting.

Talk about transitions.

We are never returning. Not really. We are returning to school … but there is no returning to last year’s routine. That schedule does not exist anymore.
Nicole Doria MS CPT

So here we Go…

I feel like I can speak a lot to transitions.

I was a kid whose dad had custody every other weekend. My life growing up was transitioning every other weekend … to a different house, a different schedule, different holidays split between families. Then I met my ex husband, he was military, and I signed up for a whole lot more. Two different places in North Carolina. Two in California. Once in Louisiana. Transitions upon transitions upon transitions.

So when back to school season rolls around and everyone starts to feel that familiar unsettled feeling … I get it. The ground shifts a little. The routine that worked in June does not work in August. The version of yourself that showed up all summer has to make room for something new.

And the first thing I want to say about that is this.

We are not returning. We are building.

There is no going back to last year’s normal because last year’s normal is gone. Last year I had a sixth grader, an eighth grader, a sophomore, and a senior. That schedule does not exist anymore. What I am walking into right now is something new and it is always going to be something new. The sooner we stop trying to get back to what was and start building toward what is next … the sooner the chaos starts to have a shape.

I know that can feel a little scary.

We like certainties. We like predictions. We like patterns. So I want to hold space for that discomfort too. But I also want to shed a light on the fact that out of our comfort zone is where change happens. And if we are negotiating our comfort over discomfort we are going to stay stuck in the loop.

When it starts to feel overwhelming I personally go back to the sphere of control.

What can I fully control right now.
What can I partially control.
What is completely out of my hands.

When I whittle the list down that way it brings me so much comfort because I can take a step back from the things I have no control over and focus my energy on the things I can actually do something about. That link is in the show notes.

I actually love transitions.

I think they are a rare open door. A chance to ask yourself … what have I been wanting to add that my current routine has not had room for. What have I been wanting to take away. You are already uncomfortable. You are already in the disruption. You might as well use it.

The strategy I have walked a lot of clients through is three weeks. Give yourself three weeks for the transition.

Week one is discovery. What do you actually want this season to include. A 5am workout. A walk on your lunch break. A new sleep routine. Commit to all of it for one week and assess at the end. Day one is going to suck. Day two might be worse. But you can do anything for a week.

Week two is implementation. Keep what worked. Adjust or drop what did not. Run it for another week and assess again.

Week three is refinement. The fine tuning. By week three you know which days are going to be harder and which things are actually going to stick. And at the start of week four you have a brand new routine that came out of a transition you were already going to have to go through anyway.

The full breakdown with examples is in the blog. Link in show notes.

One more thing. As you build this new season … leave room for margin. Do not jam pack every day before you even know what the rhythm feels like. A no right now opens the door for a lot of yeses later. Leave room. You are going to need it.