UGGGGGHHH… Willpower Feels Impossible During the Holidays
Have you ever noticed how much harder everything feels around Christmas and New Year’s?
UGGHHHHH!
The food, the parties, the family stress, the disrupted routine… it’s like life suddenly turns up the volume on everything that already takes energy.
There are cookies out on the counter that were never there before. Like, who even invited you, cookie?!
Extra sweets in the house because the kids brought them home from parties.
Leftovers that somehow live on the counter longer than they should.
Office candy bowls that appear out of nowhere. Seriously… go back from where you came from!
And if you are someone who is working on weight management, suddenly it feels like a million tiny decisions you never had before are sitting right in front of your face.
So you wind up feeling tired. You feel depleted. You wonder why you can’t just stay on track.
But here’s the truth. It’s not that you are weak. It’s not that you are undisciplined. It’s not that you lack willpower.
It’s that the holidays put your willpower under a BIIIIIGGGGGER drain than normal life.
A Quick Reality Check on Willpower
Before we go any further, I want to slow this down and define what we actually mean by willpower, because it gets thrown around a lot.
What it really comes down to is control.
And control is not infinite.
We get as much as we get, and that is it.
Willpower is not something we can just manufacture more of when life demands it. And that is not a flaw. Sometimes we simply do not have the capacity for more control in that moment.
Things that affect our capacity for control include stress, emotions, decision making, lack of sleep, and everything else life throws at us.
And what do the holidays do?
They add more.
- More stress.
- More decisions.
- More schedule disruption.
- More emotional load.
So when we are in a season where we already have less control over our schedule and our environment, our instinct is to try to press in and create more willpower.
But that is kind of like trying to hold your breath and hoping it lasts forever.
And yes, maybe at some point in childhood we all tried that to get our way. Not speaking from experience or anything. OK maybe I am…
Either way, we know how that ends.
What works better is setting things up around you so you do not have to rely on willpower nearly as much in the first place.
Think support. Think anchors. Think making your environment work with you instead of against you.
That brings us to three things that matter a lot during the holidays.
- Your environment.
- Your routines.
- Your systems.
Environment
Your environment sets the stage for how the day goes.
If tempting foods are in plain sight, every glance requires a little mental tug-of-war.
Putting things away doesn’t mean they’re banned forever. Cookies aren’t evil, they just need to respect the house rules.
In the meantime, setting up easy access to nourishing foods, and creating spaces that support your goals can definitely save some mental energy.
You don’t have to remove everything, but making the environment work for you instead of against you can be a game changer.
- Mindful Eating & Food Environments for Weight Management
- Environment Help: How You Can Stop Boredom Eating
Routines
Routines act like anchors for your day. They create structure, reduce the number of decisions you have to make, and help you move through stress without relying solely on willpower.
It might be a morning protein shake, a walk after lunch, or a consistent bedtime.
Even a five-minute habit can feel like a secret weapon when everything else is chaos!
Systems
Systems are the bigger framework that support your choices over time. Like cheat codes for life.
They don’t make you perfect, they just make you unstoppable-ish… Envision the meme with the T-Rex and a little grabber sticks or whatever the heck those things are called.
They can include non-negotiables, planning ahead, or habits that stack in your favor.
Systems reduce the mental load and make it easier to stay on track without relying on sheer force of will.
Possible Systems for the Holidays:
- Decide the structure of most meals (protein + vegetable + healthy fat) so choices are easier and repeatable, even at parties.
- Choose 1–2 non-negotiable habits that stay consistent all season (like daily steps, morning protein, or a bedtime routine). Everything else flexes around these.
- Create default settings in your home that guide behavior automatically… like healthy foods visible, sweets stored out of sight, water always available.
- Set rules for navigating events like always eat a snack before arriving, fill half your plate with nourishing foods first, bring one supportive dish.
- Set aside 30–60 minutes each week to plan meals, workouts, and key social events. This reduces daily decisions.
- Reduce daily micro-decisions by batching similar decisions (pre-deciding what to eat, wear, or cook for the week).
These are bigger than just one snack or plate…. they are structures that guide your choices over time and reduce reliance on willpower.
The Takeaway
The holidays are not a test of your discipline.
They are a season that asks more of your energy, your time, and your attention.
Willpower is limited. Support systems matter.
When you focus on shaping your environment, leaning on your routines, and building systems that work with you, the season becomes a lot more manageable.
You don’t need to resist everything… because let’s be real, a cookie here or there isn’t going to ruin you. Promise.
You need anchors that hold you steady, and frameworks that support your choices over time.
Start small.
One tweak here, one tweak there… and suddenly you’re like ‘Oh hey, I got this’ instead of ‘Oh no, send help’
Because…. Sometimes you are the help. And that’s just part of the deal.
So try to work with yourself instead of being your own nemesis.
I hope it helps
With love, Coach Nik
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